Dream Series: Someday

“Someday, I’ll find a job or career I love.” “Someday, I’ll launch my big idea.” “Someday, I’ll change my financial situation.” “Someday, I’ll be living my destiny call and become the person I’m truly meant to be!” Does any of this self-talk sound familiar? Most people want to become ‘more’ than they are. They feel boxed in – and long for the freedoms of a self-determining life fueled by passion and purpose.

Everyone has a dreamer within them! However, if you want to make your dream a reality, you need to do more than fantasize about what might happen ‘someday’. You need a plan, you need discipline, and you need to take inspired action. Yet, how can we dare to expand our Hearts into dream-making when we are continually assaulted with threats of terrorism, cultural warfare, economic collapse, political instability, and a pervasive landscape of fear-based thinking?

Work/Life/Dream Balance

If you’re like most people, somedayyou might already be challenged balancing your work obligations with the increasing demands of day-to-day life: maintaining your home, paying your bills, exercising, parenting, socializing with friends, and spending time with family. How can you add ‘pursuing a dream’ to the list – when you already feel like you’re spinning plates and overwhelmed?

Don’t worry about how you will achieve your dream. Don’t be disheartened if you’re not even sure what your dream is. Just commit to taking the first step on your journey by acknowledging ‘the dreamer’ within you. Actualizing your dream is a process. Just like a new workout regime, start small when you are building your ‘Dreamer’ muscle. If you want to be a professional photographer, begin by taking smartphone pics of moments that capture your heart and imagination, until you have a ‘body of work’ that can become your first portfolio. If you want to become a thought leader within your industry – acquire more knowledge, seize opportunities to contribute value or bring forth a new idea, and hire a branding expert to distinguish you.

What About the Bills?

Realizing your dream is an essential component to living a more purposeful, happy, and authentic life. But that doesn’t mean you have to quit your day job! Many people have persevered to manifest their dream outside of a ‘day job’. The musical icon, Phillip Glass, was a plumber and taxi driver. Sara Blakely kept her day job of selling fax machines while she was working on her ideas for Spanx – and became the youngest self-made billionaire in the world. The Pulitzer Prize winning author, Toni Morrison, was the mother of young sons and an editor while she wrote her masterpieces.

Do you want to be sitting in that same cube 10 years from now, probably, doing the same thing, and still dreaming about ‘someday’? Let’s commit to finding your dream, building a strong foundation of inner strength against the resistance, and becoming a great force of Light in the world.

Let your ‘Someday’ start today!

 

Inspirational quote


“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

 

Emergence Action


Your early years of playful innocence hold the knowledge of your destiny call. What were the experiences you most enjoyed as a child? Map out your professional life to date and highlight the themes, strengths, and consistent activities that have enlivened and engaged you. Follow the trail…


Mask vs. Authentic Self

This Halloween, I was reflecting on the adorable children who proudly presented their costumes and received a treat for pretending to be something or someone other than themselves. I have always loved the autumn season and greeting the little ghosts, goblins, witches, and fairy princesses. Yet, between the doorbells, I was imagining a future culture that encouraged our children to eagerly run to a trusted neighbor’s door, throw their arms wide open and wholeheartedly announce: Here I AM!

Mask: mask_authenticselfsomething that serves to conceal or disguise
Authentic: real or genuine; not copied or false
Self: a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others

Identify Your Mask

Many of us were conditioned to wear a mask and present a certain face to the world. Whether it was ‘Make nice at Grandma’s house’ or ‘Daddy doesn’t like your sad face’ or another classic message – we emerged from our family of origin with a dominant mask that, in time, became a part of our identity.  Here are four common masks:

Perfectionist – uncomfortable revealing flaws, hyper-critical of mistakes, and invests copious amounts of time and energy attempting to achieve an unattainable goal. They are often harshly self-critical of perceived failures.

People Pleaser – tendency towards self-sacrifice and over-giving to others while neglecting oneself and one’s goals. They feel taken advantage of, secretly harbor resentment, and are often challenged to say ‘No’ and assert for their needs.

Anger – reacts with frustration, irritation, impatience or rage to protect feelings of vulnerability, loneliness and unworthiness and vigilantly guards against a perceived danger or threat. The unspoken fear is: Don’t get to close to me or I might lose control.

Happy – speaks and acts as if happy all the time. They rarely admit to hurt feelings and disappointments and despite betrayals, loss, and hardship continue to cover those feelings with bravado, denial, and a big smile signaling: I’m just fine!

Masks Can Be Elective

Our masks may have survival value in the short term, but the long term costs are often very high. We can choose a brave face to temporarily support a function or role. However, the false personas that hide our beautiful Souls can exhaust our energy and rob us of the deep connection we long for with others. Practice being more vulnerable, open your arms to love, and give yourself permission to live more fully into your one most precious authentic life!

 

Inspirational Quote


Tear off the mask. Your face is glorious!’                Rumi

 

Emergence Action


Identify the masks you wear throughout your typical day. Consider the many faces, both positive and negative, you might employ to hide fear, sadness, vulnerability, or excitement. For example, when a friend who is unemployed asks about your career, do you flat line your response (the mask of people pleasing) and secretly withhold your news of achievement and professional recognition?  Next time, call up your courage and speak your truth. You might become the inspiration to Light up their world!


Motivation vs. Inspiration

Throughout my life, I’ve been described as a highly motivated and achievement-driven person. My past and present body of work certainly confirms this to be true. Though, I can also feel stuck, resistant and unmotivated. For me and many of my clients, the difference is inspiration. When inspiration awakens us to a new idea, we breathe in the energy and the quickening becomes our rocket fuel for creative action. When we start to flat line and lose motivational energy, it is often because our inspiration is low.

Motivation: a force or influence that causes someone to do something
Inspiration: something that moves someone to act, create, or feel an emotion

Motivational theorists seek to understand what activates human behavior or ‘why a person does something’. They study drive, instinct, and humanistic motivators ignited by both conscious and unconscious factors – along with varieties of motivational influences.

However, researchers who study the effect of inspiration on goal achievement report that people who are more inspired in their lives tend to set more inspired goals, and have a higher success ratio. Beyond goal cultivation – if we live an inspired state of being, we will elevate to a higher degree of meaning, purpose, happiness, and abundance in our daily lives.

Inspiration Preparation

Some say that inspirational energy is ethereal, spontaneous, and uncontrollable. If this is true, then how can we best prepare ourselves for inspiration to take residence within us? Here are four ways: motivation_vs_inspiration

Prepare your Mind: develop a high degree of knowledge, experience, and confidence in your chosen profession or calling. Work mastery is a key element for transcendence.

Open your Heart: practice being open-hearted, fearless, vulnerable, and curious. Retire defensiveness and victimhood and commit to love, even when it hurts.

Live Creatively: train yourself to see possibility beyond current limitations. Transcend the traditional, color outside the lines, and become an original work of art.

Breathe in Gratitude: cultivate a habit of thankfulness and appreciation. Learn to live in harmony with life and seek connections with those who uplift your spirit.

Inspiration Invitation

What was the passionate fire that propelled you to launch your company or commit to your professional life? What was the numinous force that attracted you to your beloved partner? What was the miraculous thunderbolt of love when your newborn baby was placed in your arms?  Business. Marriage. Parenting. Creative Projects. The process is the same. External forces motivate us to act, but inspiration fuels and sustains our commitments.  When your energy is waning, take a moment to reconnect with your most spirit-filled moments and invite inspiration to dance with you, once again!

 

Inspirational Quote


When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be!”

           Patanjali

 

Emergence Action


Start an Inspiration Journal. For the next week, pay attention and record every time you feel uplifted and inspired by an endless stream of blessings that may include: a majestic cloud, a painterly sunset, a cathedral forest, a stranger’s kindness, a heroic act of courage, a child’s gift of innocence, or the strength of a great leader. Soon you will feel more positive, more motivated, and more inspired by your own boundless Spirit.


Procrastination vs. Perseverance

As I keep moving back the deadline for the publication of my two books, I have become acutely aware that my logic is flawed. I have a lifelong habit of creating a lot of glorious complexity and high demands within my professional and personal life and am known for fulfilling my commitments to others – sometimes, in heroic style. However, within my internal universe, I am notably less trustworthy.

Procrastination: the action of delaying or postponing something
Perseverance: to continue trying to do something, even though it is difficult

Perhaps, like me, you’ve experienced both ends of procrastination – the inability to get started and the resistance to completion. Both are rooted in perfectionism, which is an unachievable goal. The perfectionist asserts that all conditions must be right to begin – or if near the end, will argue for dissatisfaction. This energy will be unconsciously transmitted into the world with the corresponding response. Within our core is a sometimes paralyzing fear of failure, fear of shame, and the risk of disappointment and loss. So, we become passive, sit on our power and script a narrative that might include “You are lazy, weak and undisciplined!” This habituated voice is assaultive to our self-esteem and extinguishes motivation.

Alchemize Your Procrastination

It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy to resist, delay and postpone, due to our fear of vulnerability. An alternative is to transform procrastination into perseverance.

Here are four practices:

Challenge your perfectionist nature. Stop setting unrealistic goals as they will guarantee failure and feelings of worthlessness.

Make peace with uncertainty. Learn to surrender the need for control and replace it with procrastination_perseverancethe wonder of curiosity and mystery.

Hold deep self-compassion for your own suffering. Fuel your actions with kindness, understanding, nonjudgement, and patience.

Forgive yourself and move on. Stop being angry with yourself and focus instead on your courage, strength, and daily achievements, however, humble.

Persevere on Your Own Behalf

Many clients report that they have no challenge persevering through notable challenges on behalf of something or someone they deem worthy. However, for a variety of reasons, the scorecard is often less for ourselves. If our self-esteem is defined by ‘the relationship we earn with ourselves’ (Branden) – and perseverance is the number one factor in taking ownership of our own success – What might we do in this moment to honor our self-value and thereby, raise our degree of self-esteem?

We can cherish our goals and dreams like the precious treasures that they are. We can take the next brave step towards victory over darkness. We can choose to say No to distractions and unsupportive spirits. We can love ourselves into wholeness thru our thoughts, words, and actions.  And, if we cannot yet birth a book, a business, or child into the world, we can simply send a love letter.

 

Inspirational Quote


Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and hold great confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing can be attained.”

           Marie Curie

 

Emergence Action


Pay attention to when you might be procrastinating and why. Identify your avoidance logic: unpleasant or boring task; too disorganized to concentrate; overwhelmed by too many demands; or afraid to fail? Take a moment to recall an achievement that required discipline, commitment, risk, and perseverance. Visualize the scene and activate the earned feeling of confidence and victory. Trust that you can replicate your results in any endeavor!